The Toaster Mistery
by Mrs. Took-Brandybuck
Summary: Tells the story of three guys who travel to Middle Earth with the help of a toaster. Not the regular Mary-Sue I swear
1. The Toaster

Disclaimer: I do not own anything, unless Wensundell, Oaks, and Cardosael.  
  
First I'll tell something about me. My name is Maria (at least I remember that was my name back at the XXI century), here in Midlle earth my name is Morwen (I still don't know why), I have lived here the last 30 years of my life My friend (the ones which I traveled with) are Alexei (here his name is Wensundell) and Mr. Oakland which we call just Oaks, (he kept his name) . You know may asking "and how did you get there?" I still don't know, all started one sunny April morning.  
  
"hey, Maria I'm starving get something to eat"  
  
"I'm your maid right Alexei?"  
  
"I'm starving too"  
  
"O.K. ,being me the only woman among you I' the only one useful too, I'll get you some toast"  
  
I plugged in the toaster and a crunch was heard, I only saw darkness (I've never questioned the other two) and when it was clear we were in the middle of only God knows what.  
  
"Oaks, Wensundell" strange it was that I didn't call Alexei by his name, I've just called him Wensundell?  
  
"Here Morwen" ME Morwen? I wasn't named like that , what the heck was happening , I was no longer at my kitchen , nor had my original name but an elven one, and in the middle of the woods, "gee" I thought I'm in one of the most written fanfics I was in Middle Earth!  
  
"Oaks guess what"  
  
"I don't have a clue, why do I call you like that?"  
  
"because we are in Middle Earth!"  
  
Alexei didn't minded at all, he isn't a Tolkiendilli like Oaks and me, in fact he only cared to draw, play the guitar, and confuse my feelings.  
  
Something amazed me.. Oaks now was a Hobbit!  
  
"Hey Oaks haven't you noticed?"  
  
"What?"  
  
Alexei noticed and started laughing.  
  
Oaks you are a hobbit and you Morwen an elf!"  
  
Me an elf?, it couldn't be! Maybe this way I could get some of Alexei's attention whom by the way hadn't changed a bit, he was human.  
  
I called for a "meeting" and told them:  
  
"We have to find out wazzup with this place , where are we, and what date is it, maybe we could have the chance to meet someone interesting"  
  
"You're going to start with that again? , believe me here Frodo Baggins isn't the Elijah Wood of your dreams"  
  
"jealous Wensundell?"  
  
He was wordless maybe my elven look did changed his mind about me.  
  
"Stop your "I know that ,you know that , that I know you like me" it's time to search for some of this mythic heroes that.."  
  
"Come on Oaks stop saying nonsense"  
  
"Damn"  
  
"let's go maybe Frodo does look like Elijah"  
  
We went on walking trying to find some signs of life , when we saw someone riding a horse.  
  
"James is that you?" My ex platonic love was here? And he was an elf! , "great" I Thought, maybe this way Alexei would put his eyes on me.  
  
"Morwen, do you really think that James is here?"  
  
"Look behind you "I told him  
  
"Who's that James that you two know so well?"  
  
"I have told you Oaks, he is the guy I used to chase"  
  
"Oh."  
  
"And what are here doing a hobbit, an elf and a man?"  
  
"basically we don't know, by the way I'm Morwen"  
  
"Cardosael, nice to meet you"  
  
He was James I couldn't believe that , his eye were like honey, his skin white as milk with long brunette hair, he was a dream, he was the perfect man.  
  
"Would you be so kind to tell me what date is it?" Oaks asked.  
  
"It's the year 1414 in your people's calendar"  
  
"cool, it's the ring's time" Oaks exclaimed.  
  
"Wow" I thought maybe we could go and find Frodo.  
  
Night fell., we asked Cardosael for a place to sleep in. He took us to the "Angmar Inn" it was our first night in Middle Earth. 


	2. Identities

Disclaimer: see chapter 1  
  
At the Inn started asking questions and we did the same to him.  
  
"Now, could you tell me where do you come from?"  
  
"Let me think .." (with such a hottie I couldn't concentrate)  
  
"We come from a very distant future" Alexei answered.  
  
"How"  
  
"We think by plugging in the toaster" Oaks said.  
  
"Toaster?"  
  
"yeap, it's something that toasts bread" I keep seeing his beautiful hair, "You don't know someone that may return us?"  
  
"I think only Lady Galadriel or Gandalf"  
  
"Do you know them?" Oaks asked him  
  
"They are well known Gandalf is most known after the ring war"  
  
"Damn" It was the only thing I could think after all the Fellowship no longer existed , "No more adventures, damn, damn, damn"  
  
"So the ring has been destroyed?"  
  
"That's obvious Oaks" I told him  
  
"So do you know anyone of the Fellowship, Frodo, Legolas maybe?" I asked him  
  
"Yes, I know them, Legolas is my cousin"  
  
"Legolas his cousin?, he may be as cute as him or cuter" It's too much for me  
  
"Where are we" Alexei at last said something  
  
"The old Witches' Kingdom of Angmar"  
  
"So we are near the Shire right?" Oaks asked  
  
"More or less"  
  
"Woe, wow, wow" I will meet Frodo  
  
"Do you mind to take us there?"  
  
"No, I don't but, could you tell me your names first, I only know yours Morwen"  
  
"Oaks"  
  
"Wensundell"  
  
I've noticed that Alexei didn't liked his name at all he thought it was a little girlie.  
  
"We'll go tomorrow to the Shire, after leaving you there I'll go to Mirkwood for my cousin and then to the Ring Feast"  
  
"Feast?"  
  
"Yes Wensundell there will be a feast for the first decade after the destruction of the ring"  
  
"Cool"  
  
"sorry?"  
  
"It' an expression of the future it means "Great""  
  
"So where will it be?"  
  
"In Gondor Oaks"  
  
"Will there be everyone?" I asked him  
  
"Indeed, well I leave you , tomorrow will be a long day"  
  
"Good night" I answered him , and he kissed my hand (I was red like a tomato)"  
  
"good night" The other answered  
  
He leaved, I started thinking. then Alexei interrupted me  
  
"You are happy I guess, know you'll meet Legolas and Frodo at last" Alexei told me  
  
"Why do you say that?"  
  
"Because."  
  
"I remember you we are nothing"  
  
"You stop it, tomorrow it's a great day"  
  
"Oaks..shut up!"  
  
I knew Alexei liked me but why should I like him being me such a gorgeous elf?  
  
"We must find a toaster or a way back"  
  
"Wensundell, I don't like being rude but here there's no homework, nor classes, nor teachers"  
  
"Nor tv, nor radio, nor Internet Oaks"  
  
"We get it ok?" I told them  
  
"So let's sleep or should I sing you a Lullaby?  
  
"It wouldn't be so bad"  
  
"Oaks, shut up"  
  
"You seem like our mother"  
  
"And you don't like your mother angry right?, so sleep!"  
  
And everyone fell asleep. 


	3. Mushrooms!

Disclaimer see chapter 1  
  
The next we all got up early, it was our full first day in Middle Earth! Cardosael very kindly got us some Middle Earth style clothes (mine was very cool), we take a shower, dressed, and ate breakfast  
  
On the road I was always asking Cardosael how does it feel being an elf .  
  
"I don't know normal I guess, you are an elf you should know that" He said  
  
Man, he was dumb!  
  
"I remind you I got here yesterday"  
  
"Then tell how does it feel to be a woman and then an elf"  
  
"Different, know I see and hear everything"  
  
"I know nobody asked but, being a hobbit it's not that bad, although thee feet and hair aren't so fine, the hair could be better if I could use some mousse"  
  
"Oaks:::"  
  
"Yeah I know Morwen I should shut up"  
  
"NO.it's that how do you know so much about hair? Are you gay?, you remind me Sam"  
  
"neither"  
  
Cardosael just laughed about all our nonsense and Alexei was indifferent.  
  
"Hey, Wensundell, wazzup with you?"  
  
"Nothing, it's just that."  
  
"You miss your guitar , right?"  
  
"More or less"  
  
Suddenly we heard some weird noises, it seemed somebody singing, it looked like he was high:  
  
"Mark!" We all shouted  
  
"I'm not Mark but you may call me like that if you like, my name is Alferond also known as The cool""  
  
"Don't listen to him he is not full of h9is senses" Cardosael shouted  
  
"Bullshit" I thought, I wouldn't miss Mark all high.  
  
"That's totally rufus!" Alexei shouted to him  
  
"Wensundell...hello.. he doesn't understand you, he've always lived here"  
  
"You know Morwen sometimes you are so sweet , sometimes you are such a pain in the ass"  
  
"Alexei thinks I'm sweet, Alexei thinks I'm sweet" I repeated to myself.  
  
"Morwen.. come back to earth"  
  
"Oaks."  
  
"Yeah I know, I know"  
  
"So you're the coolest and you consume hallucinogen mushrooms" I said to Alferond  
  
"Yeap do you want some?"  
  
"My name is Morwen, the hobbit is Oaks and the grumpy man is Wensundell"  
  
"Nice to meet you, would you join me with my friends the mushroom?"  
  
  
  
"I don't know it could be cool if getting high , but there's a journey to continue, I have to find my Elijah"  
  
"Elijah?"  
  
"Nothing, I was just thinking out loud"  
  
"I told you Oaks she was thinking in going far, far away and leave here all sad"  
  
"Wensundell, I hear you"  
  
"Morwen, that was just for.for"  
  
"I sorry to interrupt you but it's time to go" Cardosael told us  
  
"But all the awesome stuff it's just about to start"  
  
"It's the best Morwen we have to find a toaster"  
  
"Oaks.we'll never find it"  
  
"I know I just told that to seem more responsible"  
  
"That's not cool"  
  
"We're sorry Mark, sorry Alferond , but we must leave, there's a long way to the Shire"  
  
"Cool halflings , they sometimes sell me their hallucinogen tobacco , it's very groovy"  
  
"This is getting weirder , I think it's better if we go now"  
  
"Gee, I've always thought you get the party down"  
  
"Oaks. no comments at all"  
  
"Then I say good bye to my dear fellow, have my blessing and peace"  
  
"Bye Alferond, stay cool"  
  
"Yeap"  
  
The high elf left as he came singing. What new adventures will they have don't miss the next chapter. 


	4. Blows!

Disclaimer: see chapter 1  
  
After leaving behind Mark's clone, Cardosael( should I remember you he's the most handsome guy in the world?) told us there was nowhere to spend the night so we just has to camp there. I just hopped any spider, or ent (wait an ent?, no it might be interesting knowing them). We laid in our sleepings and waited to fall asleep, actually I was there sleeping with 3 guys at a time (well if Oaks counts as a man) . I tried to sleep when something very weird happened the most beautiful being in the Earth snored!  
  
"Oh no" I thought  
  
"He'll loose his charm" (but who am I kidding he'll never loose it)  
  
When finally I fall asleep I heard a strange noise  
  
"Blows..blows" That seemed like the wind blowing or Alar's nickname.  
  
"Hey, Wensundell, Oaks don't you listen something?" I asked them  
  
"No, I don't" Oaks answered  
  
"Neither do I" Wesundell said  
  
I tried to sleep again, but the noises were still there.  
  
"Blows.blows"  
  
This time I couldn't go with so waked up Cardosael  
  
"Cardosael, please, wake up, don't you hear those noises?"  
  
"Ah?"  
  
Even recently waken up he looked so gorgeous.  
  
"That noise it's horrible.it's creepy"  
  
"Morwen are you serious? Didn't you really take Alferond drugs?"  
  
"No, I'm not kidding..here them"  
  
"What a commotion! Couldn't you let a hobbit sleep?"  
  
"Oaks.."  
  
"yeah, I know Morwen"  
  
"For the valar's sake are you deaf or what?"  
  
"Blows..Blows"  
  
"Oh..now I know he's a lost ent"  
  
"why didn't you tell us before?" (man this guy was so dumb)  
  
While I was lost in my thought of he being so dumb and cute at the same time that huge brown-green mass called ent approached.  
  
"Blows.Blows"  
  
"Excuse me Mr. Ent , would you mind stop doing that noise?" I asked him  
  
"I'm sorry I'll try to, my name is Alblows"  
  
"Oaks..he is Blows!" Alexei shouted  
  
"Blows.gay, Oaks.gay" Alexei continued shouting.  
  
"Wensundell.do you have anything in you brain , don't you understand they aren't whom you think they are? , I don't even think they know what gay is" I told him  
  
"And isn't it clear that I'm not gay?"  
  
"Oaks.."  
  
"Yeah I know. It's better if I don't say a word"  
  
"So, Mr. Alblows could you tell me why didn't you let us sleep?" I told him  
  
"I don't know"  
  
"Blows.gay" Alexei shouted  
  
"Wensundell.gay" the ent (wait the ent?; ok) told him  
  
"And what's gay?"  
  
"Sissy, pussy, not straight"  
  
"I still don't get it" Alblows said.  
  
"Don't worry Alblows, they usually use words that nobody knows here" Cardosael said  
  
"Where are you from?" Alblows asked  
  
"I hear that question again and I'll shut myself" I thought  
  
The sweet and kind Cardosael, seeing my face did something intelligent answering that question  
  
"I really don't know, it was to do with toast"  
  
His intelligence didn't help so much, and elves are intelligent I doubt it  
  
It was midday , time passes very quickly talking to an ent, but very boring cause they talk sort of. very slow. And I wanted so much to be in Hobbiton, I need to see Frodo and see if he look a bit like Elijah.  
  
"Elijah" They heard my whisper  
  
"Oaks, If I hear that name again , I swear I'll kick her ass"  
  
"Wensundell. shut the fuck up" That's the only thing I could say  
  
"I think it's time to continue our way to Hobbiton , if we hurry, we might get tonight" Cardosael said  
  
"Awesome.This would be my night.. whom will I decide for? but Alexei, it doesn't matter, I just wanna see Frodo" I thought  
  
"It's time to say goodbye.blows.blows"  
  
"Goodbye Alblows, cu later" I said to him  
  
"Blows.gay, good bye" Alexei and Oaks shouted (man, they are too such hollow heads, they don't understand he doesn't get the joke)  
  
We continued our the fastest as we could , when I remembered something:  
  
"Don't we have math exam?"  
  
"I don't know, and if there is , so what"  
  
"I was just wondering Alexei" 


End file.
